It’s a whole world I have been trying to grasp my entire life.
It is floating all around me; it is just outside my reach.
I see it when I look out my window, sitting amid my Books in an empty room.
I see the world in past lovers and nightclubs; I look at past Lovers, and In the twinkle Of their eyes, I see futures I have built, all waiting to exist but cannot grasp.
All of my dreams and sitting in space waiting to be Attained…
These dreams can be nightmares.
My mind betrays me and places me in the world I want to be in, or I was in, or in places and realities I must accept.
My Mind brought me to places of solitude when I thought I was happy, laying on a foam mattress cuddling up with a dream of a partner that, even at that time, I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I was Living My dreams, but my mind wouldn’t allow me to dwell at that moment.
I was also selfish too; Sometimes, dreams are nightmares. I see the world I built while grasping a cup of gin and soda water.
At the same time, I was glancing at another figment of my imagination, having seen one of my dreams ignore me and act Like we never met though later that night, I would be In the bed of that same person being recognized.
What a wasteful dream but also a nightmare.
I see the world I am grasping for; I still see in the midst between the nightmare of That moment and the dreams I have.
I see dreams of Attending her wedding while knowing that if I lived In that world, we would be together.
My dreams take me to invitations and drives to venues, but my mind knows I wouldn’t be able to see the nightmares.
Even the thought that She was pregnant startled me, So I saw her first because It was a nightmare even to think she was pregnant.
I live in between dreams and nightmares.
I see the world Im trying to grasp.
Why do How do I get there? How do I break down these walls I built? Why did I create these walls? Why? Whom am I hiding from? When did the world I envision walk so far away from me?